Full Text (English – Fictionalized)
Mr. Zhenlong’s real name was Zhao Tiezhu, and before becoming the internet’s favorite clown, he was Douyin’s most mysterious tech-shaman.
At 7:30 PM that fateful night, as Chongqing’s Guanyinqiao Night Market buzzed with the sizzle of spicy hotpot, the sky roared with a dragon’s cry – not metaphorically, but literally via stolen Elder Scrolls sound effects. A 50-drone “cyber dragon” hovered above sweet potato noodle stalls, its eyes projecting laser QR codes linking to Zhao’s livestream: “Folks! Witness miracles! Scan to claim Year of the Dragon coupons!”
This was his 108th attempt to merge tech with mysticism. Previous stunts included 3D-printing a Shan Hai Jing monster to dance viral TikTok moves, holographic “immortals” cliff-diving at Wudang Mountain, and phoenix qipaos that shot dry ice for square-dancing grannies. But tonight, he’d spiked the drone AI’s code with two pounds of Jiangxiaobai liquor and a programmer’s incantation: “Let there be dragon wrath.”
Disaster struck at 8:07 PM. As Zhao chanted “By the power of Taoist code, dragon bring blessings!” the beast convulsed like a metal centipede struck by lightning. The drone swarm contorted, smashing lanterns into fiery rain over the crowd.
“Holy ancestors! The dragon’s gone mad!” screamed Auntie Liu, a jelly dessert vendor, ducking under her cart. Her GoPro captured the chaos: the dragon head chasing a sausage seller with fake snow (actually a fire extinguisher mod), the tail scattering lottery tickets like confetti, and claws flipping confiscated BBQ grills into flaming meteors.
The spectacle drove 90,000 onlookers and 3 million livestream viewers into collective hysteria. Comments exploded at 5,000 per second:
- “Dragon uprising! Overthrow carbon-based tyranny!”
- “Apply for UNESCO heritage – Cyber Dragon Malfunction!”
- “Dragon bro, can you grill my oysters? Scanning your code now!”
Zhao collapsed at his control panel, frantically tapping his Huawei Mate 200 Pro until it overheated. He later confessed: “In that moment, I understood Monkey King’s headache – technology was my golden headband.”
